We all have to do it at some point. We avoid that one thing as much as possible because it's hurt us so badly in the past, and if you ignore it enough, it isn't real, right?

Well for me, it's the concept of moving. I was a care kid, every single move I've ever done has been for all the wrong reasons, has taken me away from everything I know and has done damage that's lasted forever.

And I'm gonna have to face it again, though for much more hopeful reasons. Doesn't undo the complex PTSD, or change the fact that I'm gonna be moving countries this time, to an area I've only been to a few times.

Its a complicated feeling. I want this move, I want all the positive things it can bring, but at the same time, part of me is terrified. Part of me wants to just hide away in the home I've known for half a decade and never deal with the upheaval again.

I've been taking the move slow, storing things with my parents so it won't be some sudden rush. Hell, I legally can't move from my current home for 30 days after I give notice. It isn't sudden like it's always been before, where I've only gotten a few days notice, or even fifteen minutes one time.

So many things are going how I need them to go - slow, careful, gentle - but trauma doesn't listen to logic.

Screw social services, basically.

This post was last edited 1 week ago.